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SIDEBARLaughs

They say "Crime doesn't pay" which is true, but you have to wonder why these inept would-be criminals even tried!

Like the man attempting to hold-up a bank and wrote the stick-up note on the back of HIS OWN deposit slip.

Or how about the couple on a nationally-syndicated court show that questioned the victim in the courtroom: : 
"Well, If you knew we were liars and thieves, why did you trust us with your property?"

Or the guy went into the bank, handed a teller a stickup note, only to be told to wait for the next available teller, which he did patiently-stocking mask and all-until the police called his number and let him away in handcuffs.

Or the color-blind counterfeiter who made BOTH sides of the bogus bills the same color?

and our personal favorite...the man who broke free from police and led them on a 30 block chase through the city streets.  When the suspect came to a dead-end he scaled the tall fence...only to find he had just climbed the fence INTO the County Jail!

Have a funny story?  Share it with us.  Email the editor at UPBEAT NEWS
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Marching to a different beat...
UPBEAT NEWS
,
the on-line newspaper!

There was a time several years ago where if your church, synogogue, club, or lodge wanted to promote their fund-raiser like a dinner or a car wash, all you had to do was send a "News Release" to the editor of the local newspapers, radio stations, etc. a few weeks ahead of time and, to fill their "FCC Community Service" obligation, they put your message in print or on the air. It was a win-win. They made their commitment, showing their "community-minded services" when it came time for license renewal, and your organization got valuable "real estate" on-air or in print.

Now, the dynamics have changed drastically, and county or regional newspapers will usually not respond unless the event is big news, so your best chance of getting noticed might be your town weekly newspaper, you may think. But think again, they still have to cram as much content in a set number of pages...they are not going to add to their printing costs to put in free notices, they have to augment that with ADVERTISING. Oh, and radio and standard or cable TV... that Public Service Announcement time, unless sponsored, will run at 2:00 AM on a Sunday night between MASH reruns.

Take a good look at our on-line publication: UPBEAT NEWS We provide our community and non-profit organizations a chance to "level the playing field", get some real promotional time and announce their events online at absolutely no charge and with no hassle. Simply submit your news releases on-line to us or mail them to our office by the 20th of the month before publication and we will publicize it, providing it meets our content guidelines.

In the upcoming issues, we plan to highlight the good works of various organizations and welcome your comments and suggestions. Just e-mail editor@myupbeatnews.com, share it with us and we will share it with our Community.

Of course, they say "nothing is free" and, it applies to any business. While we do NOT print any physical newspapers, there are still considerable costs associated with publishing that must be covered by our Advertisers, our only source of funding. Therefore, I sincerely ask that you make a considerable effort to patronize our fine advertisers, as much as possible. Thank them, and let them know you saw their ad in UPBEAT NEWS. It is "feedback" like that, which will build this publication and make it the success I know it will be.

Thank you for your encouragement, and your readership.

Barry M. Gould
Editor and Publisher
and President, EYE-Q Image Intelligence
 


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